- Shakesville: On the Compliment Guys, Street Harassment, and Arguable Compliments –
When they actually called out to me, it took me a few minutes to parse what they had said and realize that it wasn't uncomplimentary, it wasn't about my body, sexuality, or style, and it wasn't lewd. At the time, I actually smiled and felt better when I realized what they had said, but in retrospect, that's problematic too. I was not necessarily primarily feeling complimented – I was primarily feeling relieved not to have been sexually harassed, not to have to worry what they would say if I ignored them, not to have to worry that if I wasn't careful they might follow me…I think most people can be educated on the concept that street harassment – which is often lewd and followed up by insults if a positive reaction is not received – is not complimentary. But focusing on exactly what was said – was it really complimentary? – misses the point that being shouted at in public, regardless of content or intention, is a scary and triggering experience for many, dare I say most, women (and, I'm sure, some men).
Like Kate, I'm sure the "compliment guys" really are just trying to be nice. I believe them when they say that they are only trying to do something nice, brighten up people's days, etc. But the whole incident provides a neat lesson in privilege. I'm sure these men have not considered the similarity between their free compliments and street harassment, because they don't have to. As two apparently able-bodied, young, white men, they've probably never been harassed on the street, nor have they had to worry about it.
(tags: none) - Suburban Guerrilla » Blog Archive » Fund Drive for My Leetle COBRA Friend –
I’ll give another recap of what’s happened since I was laid off last July. Basically, I needed three surgeries; I had one of them. The most important thing I need to take care of is my (probably fractured) ankle, which has kept me largely inactive for the past year and a half. The big delay was, the insurance company would not authorize an MRI because they thought I hadn’t tried physical therapy first – although I did, it was billed through my car insurance and not them, so they didn’t have a record. We went around on this for months.I finally got that straightened out when my former employer changed the insurance plan – and they told me the MRI authorization was no longer valid, because we were starting from ground zero again. As I was trying to figure out what to do, my doctor’s practice (and that of all University of Pennsylvania-affiliated practices) was shut out of my insurance network. So I had to find a new doctor, quick. I did.
But in three months, her office staff hasn’t managed to get an ankle MRI authorized for me. So I’m seeing a new doctor next week.
In the meantime, I’m still on the hook for $511 a month.
(tags: none) - My View from the Ceiling –
Mid-February I got a letter by certified mail. It took me two weeks to open it, and it was because I had to convince myself that it was a bill, and that bad things would happen if I didn't pay it. Rather than a bill, it was a death sentence.My doctor told me that he was going to refuse to see me after a date in mid-March (it's been over a week since this date as I am writing this.) He stated that it was important for me to follow through on my treatment, and since I am not doing so, will not treat me. He suspects I am no longer taking my medication, but, if I am, don't stop them before seeing a new doctor. He suggested a PCP refer me to a new doctor, and he would be happy to provide my medical record to whichever doctor requests it. (His willingness to abide by the law is amazingly generous, I know.) I sobbed for days. [...]
I hate when people talk about people not taking advantage of opportunities, or people not taking care of their own health. It's not that easy for all of us. I've been handed a ticket out of hell, but thrown it away, because, well, it's hell.
(tags: none)
The Links for March 27th from 12:28 by Lee Salazar, unless otherwise expressly stated, is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 United States License. Terms and conditions beyond the scope of this license may be available at leesalazar.com.